Fresno Famous

First off, let the record show that the Famous Choice Awards are less than scientific. We don’t send the votes off to some company for official tally. We don’t even block you from voting more than once. This ain’t the Oscars, and no one is holding some secret envelop in a locked box until the day of the big show.
In fact, there’s no big show.
There aren’t any awards either, really, save for this silly little story.

Sure, we’d like the winners to reflect the thoughts of our users, but mostly the contest is supposed to be a silly little bit of fun. So, while it’s nice that people took this year’s contest seriously enough to go in for some serious voter fraud, it’s also frustrating (though it isn’t fraud exactly, because no one said you couldn’t vote as many times as you wanted. That’s what we get ... Whatever).

Without further ado, the winners are ...

Beer selection
Winner: The Landmark (644 E Olive Ave.)

Can't say if the beer selection is really any better here than at any other bar in town, but according to the Yelp reviews we've read the bartenders certainly are.

Blog
Winner: Fresno Met Museum (www.fresnomet.org/mettalk)

The Fresno Metropolitan Museum of Art and Science Mettalk blog is the place to go to find out what’s happening at the museum (and yes, there is more than just financial trouble). The site includes MET lectures (in video or audio), blogs, podcasts and more.

Real winner: Beehive (www.fresnobeehive.com)

With a stable of capable, snarky bloggers (and commenters), the Beehive has become a powerhouse of local (and not-so local) entertainment information. They give away all sorts of cool swag and keep up with weekly features like Mike Oz’ Post No Bills.

Breakfast
Winner: Al’s Cafe (1823 W Olive Ave.)

Al’s is housed in an old Wendy’s building west of the 99 and might make the best breakfast in the world — if you wake up still drunk and need something to kill the buzz. For the rest of us, expect big portions of greasy-spoon style American and Mexican fare. One on-line review called its huevos rancheros the best ever. That’s a bold statement.

Burrito
Winner: Al's Cafe (again)

The burritos here are big and cheap, two things we look for in food.

Worth the mention: Robertitos (all over Fresno)

During a stop in Fresno, the indie-rock band Portugal. The Man said they had the best burritos ever ... at Robertitos. We're all about the Sport burrito and all it's shrimpy goodness.

Cheap Drinks
Winner: Pruno at The County Jail

Technically, this makes sense. Pruno is a cheap drink you can make yourself with yeast, fruit, sugar and water. That’s if you don’t mind drinking something brewed in a toilet.

Our choice: Audie’s Olympic/Club Fred (1426 N. Van Ness Ave.)

They keep cans of Pabst, Olympia and Tecate in a bathtub full of ice behind the bar. It’s a claw-foot.

Downtown Spot
Winner: Milano (1243 Fulton Mall)
This Italian eatery on the Fulton Mall was named a hidden gem in The Fresno Bee’s People’s Choice Awards, so it’s legit. It’s the kind of authentic spot that separates Fresno from the rest of the pit-stops along the 99. There’s music on weekends, artists for ArtHop and that cool old-timey bicycle in the window (FYI, it’s called a Penny-Farthing bike).

Worth the mention: Every place else

Here’s a small list: Downtown Community Arts Collective, Fresno Metropolitan Museum, Courthouse Park, Yoshi Now!, Hero’s, Tokyo Garden, Chukchansi Park, Teazer, Kogetsu Do/Shaved Ice, Rainbow Ballroom, Sushi Hana, Broadway Studios, The Parsley Garden Cafe, Fulton Mall, Kern Street and Cosmos.

Event
Winner: North American Wrestling shows at the Radisson

Not quite sure if we’d say this is the best event in town, but the idea of a local WWE-style action (complete with alter-ego-ed wrestlers) is gold. Without seeing one match, we’re rooting for The Big Ugly.

Our choice: Upcoming Ronald McDonald Valley Wide Dodge Ball Tournament

The details for this are sketchy still, but it looks like teams of 10 will compete in an all-out dodge-ball battle. Just like third grade, but without the crying (hopefully). Companies are urged to send challenge invitations to their biggest competitors. Here’s looking at you Beehive. Plus, it’s all for charity.

Fresno-made product
Winner: Helados Ice Cream (1418 G. St.)

Helados Ice Cream is about as authentic a Fresno product as there is. The company supplies retail stores with 24 types of Mexican ice-cream fruit bars, with flavors like coconut (which sound gross, sorry), bubble gum and Oreo cookie. You've totally seen their trucks around town.

Haircut
Winner: The Studio In the Tower (727 E. Olive Ave., 485-0272)

It’s worth noting that, along with as close to a perfect name as you can for hair place in the Tower District, The Studio in the Tower is a multicultural salon, with stylists who are trained to work with all ethnicities. Also: they don’t just do hair. Owner Kacey Auston is also a member of Image Consultants International and offers consulting services that look at the whole women — from hair and makeup, to clothes and accessories.

Our choice: Cheapest

Yeah. I cut my own hair. What of it?

Moment of 2008
Winner: Sarah Palin not becoming Vice President

Looks like the people have spoken. Again. And also, the Fresno State Baseball team won a national championship.

Native Son
Winner: Henry T. Perea

It would be easy (and mean) to say this is the guy who didn’t become mayor. But that would ignore the fact that he’s genuinely a nice guy, has long been forward thinking and helped establish the creative movement in Fresno.

New Business
Winner: CYC Chinatown Youth Center (901 F St.)

This isn't exactly a business ... more of a non-profit. Still, it's a cool place, a for-the-people by-the-people venue that’s equal parts music, art, and community activism, with something happening every weekend.

Performer
We're gonna go ahead and call foul for this category. Not because we think the winner, Taylor Abels, isn't a great performer (the 17-year old actress is the daughter of Children's Musical Theatrework's founder Joel Abels and stars in Good Company Player's "Little Women"), but because even fourth-place got almost 900 votes and that more than some of the other categories combined. So, something is fishy. But we'll mention metal rockers Grooveyard, because they had tons of votes, plus their fans put them into at least three categories, including best beer selection. That makes us want to get to a show, quick.

Psuedo Celebrity
We’re gonna call foul on this category too, no offense to Joey Lindsey.

Reason to go north of Herndon
Winner: Woodward Park

You won’t be able to see mixed martial arts there, but you can still do all sorts of other fun, outdoorsy stuff, like running, or riding a bicycle (without worrying about getting destroyed by a car), or feeding ducks. It’s also home to the Woodward Shakespeare Festival. That’s right, free Shakespeare in a park. They’re doing “As You Like It” and “Richard III” this season.

Pretty darn funny: To visit our Caucasian friends

Uhm...OK.

Reason to go south of Belmont
Failure: The Tower District

Let’s all get out our Google Maps. The commercial core of the Tower District, runs along Olive Avenue. That’s north of Belmont Avenue, people.

Pretty darn funny: Court Order

Even people who love downtown have to laugh at this.

Sports team
Winner: NoTown Roller Derby (www.notownrollerderby.wordpress.com)

Born from the ashes of the Smog City Roller Grrls, NoTown is Fresno’s flat track roller derby team — though not the only one, to be fair. These are rough-and-tumble ladies and the action ain’t faked (they wear helmets, pads and mouth guards just in case). The team’s first match last month drew more than 800 people.

Tattoo
Winner: Timeless Tattoo (2212 N. Blackstone Ave.)

Owner Richard George says he got into tattooing in 9th grade because he wanted one and his mom said no. How’s that for irony? George opened Timeless Tattoos about 1 1/2 years ago. Before that, he owned Eternal Tattoos. The guy does some cool stuff, including portraits. These aren’t rush jobs either. He might take a week or so to work with a client to find and draw the perfect tat.

Theater Group
Winner: Good Company Players (www.gcplayers.com)

OK, duh. With two performance venues (Roger Rocka’s Music Hall and Second Space Theater) and a 35-year history in Fresno, Good Company Players is a breeding ground for theater types, including some names you know — like Audra McDonald, Sharon Leal and Christopher Gorham. In March the company accepted it’s 500th Junior member.

Our choice: Artists Repertory Theatre, (www.myspace.com/artfresno)

As contrast, Artists Repertory Theatre is new to the scene, making a splash by taking risks and producing theater and performance art that is vital, thought provoking and relevant (their words). The choice of shows has been strong, with stagings of “The Rocky Horror Show” and “Glengarry Glan Ross.” Their current show, “The Fantasticks,” runs through April 19.

Wish list
Winner: Monorail

What are we, in Springfield? Yes, a monorail would be nice. Track it up and down Blackstone Avenue and watch it go.

What we’ve already got: A midsize concert venue

The Crest Theater is well on its way to becoming a great midsized venue. Lamb of God plays there on Sunday. Also: an independent police auditor. Mayor Swearingen pushed this through the council with the help of Chief Dyer himself. But it’s under a different name — the Office of Independent Review.

Just kinda sad: Stable well-paying jobs, so we can actually buy all that other crap on the wish list.

Fresno unemployment rate is over 10 percent, so, yes, jobs would be a good place to start.