Some thoughts on Prop 8
So this prop 8 thing is really starting to irritate me. To me this fight about gay rights is really about so much more than just gay people... It's about protecting the civil liberties of every minority group in our country.
Unfortunately, when the average American thinks of gay people, or about homosexuality, they don't see a minority group who's civil liberties are under attack. All they really see is a freak show parade held in San Francisco they see on the news every year and they think of glory holes in the walls of mens rooms in truck stops and public parks . They see idiots like Rosie Odonnell and Ellen Degeneres and they think, "man, California must be one really fucked up place if it's full of people like that."
They don't know my friends Stella and Judy, who work hard to support 4 kids they adopted..... Kids who, until being adopted, had no one to love them and take care of them.... They don't really realize there are gay and lesbian couples all over our country who just want to be allowed the freedom to live a normal life and to raise a normal family while enjoying she same rights and obligations everyone else has. They don't realize the ban against gays getting married has much more to do with religion than with sex, and that preventing gays from getting married will have absolutely no affect on the amount of homosexual behavior they may or may not ever be exposed to.
As long as they gay community remains nothing more to outsiders than tutus, rainbows, and gay pride parades, the average heterosexual American is not going to understand what this is all about.
The other day Elton John said gays shouldn't push for legalized gay marriage. He said they should be happy with the ability to have civil unions and not try to push for equality . I couldn't disagree more. Seperate but equal is not equal. It's shocking to me that almost 50 years after the civil rights act was passed , we're still dealing with these basic issues of civil liberties, only now instead of blacks it's gays that have become the popular target of discrimination in this country.
Now I think I understand the point Elton John was trying to make. I think he was trying to suggest that marriage is a religious ritual that many people participate in not only for social reasons, but also for reasons deeply rooted in their religion. A religion that happens to prohibit homosexual activity for any of it's members... Yes, even for Ted Haggart and Senator Larry Craig , but that's not the point.... The point is marriage is a very religious ritual deeply rooted in the bible and for that reason, the government shouldn't be sanctioning (or choosing not to santion) marriage for anyone, gay or straight. It is a violation of the first amendment to the U.S. Constitution for the government to create laws or public policies that are based on religion , or for the government to favor one religion over another (for example, catholics are generally against gay marriage while many Episcopalians believe gay marriage is ok ) and since the only legitimate arguments are all based entirely on religion, it is not legal or even practical for the government to be involved in regulating them. It is interesting though, I might add, those who oppose gay marriage describe their efforts as "protecting marriage" as if marriage itself is under attack. While I could never make this point as well as the very talented Roy Zimmerman , I would like to point out that allowing gays to marry would not damage the institution of marriage. On the contrary, it would help reduce many of the allegedly "deviant" behaviors that the christian church claims to abhor, like extra-marital sex, single parenting,
But as long as the government is in the marriage business, they should keep in mind my next argument in support of gay marriage which, by the way, has absolutely nothing to do with religion... Federal law prohibits the government from several varieties of discrimination. Discriminating against a person because of their sex is one of them. Race is not the only class that is protected from discrimination in this country, sex is also a protected class . So if it's legal for a man to go topless at a particular place (like the beach, or a public pool), it also has to be legal for a woman to be topless there as well . Likewise, if it's legal for a man to marry a woman, it should also be legal for him to marry a man.
We have to stop approaching this question from the position that we are trying to obtain rights we don't yet have, and begin approaching it from the position that we are preserving rights we already have protected by federal and local laws. We also have to educate the rest of the country that this struggle isn't just about the rights of gay people, but that it's about the rights of ALL people. The moment we accept the premise that protecting the civil liberties of one particular group is not important, we begin the process of losing our own civil liberties... Until we accomplish that, the struggle for gay rights will amount to nothing more than frustration for both sides of the issue.
but....
Civil rights struggles always involve actions by a wide range of personalities -- to suggest everyone can be calm and rational and middle-of-the-road is simply unrealistic.
These angry, screaming people you see on TV? TRUST ME..... these are NOT the kinds of people I worked side-by-side to fight Prop 8 in the weeks leading up to Nov. 4. We worked hard but were diplomatic and many of us were truly compassionate of competing views. Even as every single one of my signs was stolen, I never, ever removed a Yes-on-8 sign (I just plopped mine next to it, lol). I was a very strong no-on-8 supporter and volunteer and I was horribly frustrated when I saw how much complacency there is in the community state-wide, while I spent tons of time peacably trying to reason with people to persuade them with reason towards agreeing with me. The good news is that this is waking up a new generation of activists, and I am in bliss over that.
SO -- let's see what unfolds in the coming weeks. Fresnans, however, are going to have to wake up, because this issue is NOT going away.
Respect
With all due respect, TravelingBiker, what about the heterosexual freak show that is Spring Break? Mardi Gras? Carnivale? Network television soap operas? Even friggin' Disney cartoons like "Cinderella," "Sleeping Beauty," and "Snow White," all of which heavily feature adult heterosexual romantic storylines for child viewers?
And what about heterosexual idiots of history like Herod, Pontius Pilate, Attila the Hun, Vlad the Impaler, Hitler and Nixon?
Why do MY kids and I have to be exposed to all THAT?
I suggest you take a look at your own obvious preconceptions about homosexuals and our very diverse cultures before you go opening your big fat trap to "help" us.
M-kay?
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Bigotry is Bigotry
Sounds like a couple of straight guys are trying to reach past their bigotry and that's great! What I hear underlying these thoughts is the same old message. I know relatives of mine in the south during the 50's had nothing against black people, they just didn't want to set next to them on the bus or at the lunch counter. If blacks could just straighten their hair, be meek and quite, not do anything to make people uncomfortable, things will be just fine!
When African Americans started celebrating their heritage in the 60s, wearing afros & darshikis, etc. a lot of white people were scared. Eventually, people got used to that kind of diversity.
I really have to question your attack on Ellen & Rosie, though. What exactly makes them "idiots"? They are both very successful women who have excelled in their carreers and won the respect of many. Rosie & her Wife Kelly have adopted unwanted children much like your friends Stella & Judy. Why is that wrong?
The horse is past beaten to death
So in otherwords you are saying gays should pretend to be straight?
How does giving a minority equal rights as ALL other human beings equate to forcing a lifestyle onto hetero's? I'm straight and don't feel threatened the least by what you label as "flamers". They are proud of who they are. God forbid someone be who they are.
Great Points
You make some great points here in this blog. I would have to agree that a big part of the problem, is the perception of homosexuals. The gay pride parades, and various freakshows are not helping your cause. In many peoples minds, the people who participate those events are representative of homosexuals as a whole. They know very little of the other side of the homosexual community.
As a heterosexual male, I was leaning toward voting yes on 8 from the onset. Then the various demonstrations, and the people they interviewed on TV pushed me very hard toward the Yes on 8 side. I think there were many people who were on the fence about this issue who were swayed to vote yes by the very people mobilizing for No on 8. It was the "Freak show" and "tutu" factor you mentioned above.
The continued demonstrations, and the motley crew who barricaded themselves at Fresno City Hall are giving the people who voted yes on 8 validation that they voted correctly.
Your movement needs moderate, middle of the road leadership. It needs a figurehead who is not a "flamer" Someone who just looks like a regular person who could be your neighbor.
If your movement really wanted to move forward with your agenda, you should cancel all gay pride parades and events. These events are counter-productive to accomplishing your goals. You have every right in the world to continue the demonstrations, that is your right under the constitution. The only problem is that it hurts your cause.
The ethinic minority community, and the heterosexual, church-going folks don't really care what you do at home, don't really care if you want to get married. They don't really want to take away your civil rights.
What these folks care about is how it affects their lives. Many of the Yes on 8 people feel like they are being forced to "celebrate" your lifestyle choices. They want to have the "right" to raise their kids and tell their kids that they belive homosexual behavior to be deviant and wrong. People want the right to make that decision/choice themselves. They don't want it forced on them.
For the average Yes on 8 person, it wasn't about limiting a groups rights, it was about the fact that they are tired of having to acknowledge and celebrate the gay/lesibian lifestyle.
Great blog by the way, you intelligently articulated some great points. Not all of which I agree with, but that is what makes this nation great. Different people can have different opinions.
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