Fresno Famous

A concerned reader writes in:

dear editor,

i am feeling the calling of fresno. i laugh, but...should i be worried? is this some kind of central-valley pesticide-induced delusion? the discovery of "fresno famous" in a sacramento bee article today is but the latest in a series of "fresno frissons" i have been experiencing.

it began earlier this month as i shlepped multiple truckloads of my belongings from SF, where i was moving from, to LA, where i am moving to. i took hwy 99 because it seemed less boring than i-5, and because i was curious to see the gems of the central valley...you know, stockton, modesto, fresno, bakersfield...the bland strand. alright, i admit it, i was smug in my sarcastic jaded urbanite hauteur. but i was curious to see the sierra. my first trip i just saw brown haze. i knew the mountains were out there...somewhere. i caught shrouded glimpses. i stopped in fresno for taco bell because it was my halfway-point. then i saw the silhouetted outline of some cool looking hills and thought...hmmm...something called out to me and i knew i must see them up close and personal. the next time i made the drive it was a gloriously clear day, and as i approached fresno i was agog. snow-capped peaks! fresno, gateway to king's canyon, sequoia and yosemite! suddenly i understood. i headed out hwy 180 towards my hills and found squaw valley and the orange blossom trail. i also noticed that fresno had something going on. charming old houses. tree-lined streets. funny deco-esque downtown. trees! fresno was calling to me! i daydreamed of a craftsman-style home. i went online. fresno has craigslist! cheap rent! but damn, no jobs. cal state fresno. the fresno philharmonic (?!) who knew?? a whole world was opening up before me.

all this time, there at the foot of the sierra...fresno...how could i have been so out of the loop? i excitedly left on my next trip and...more brown haze...but i was not dissuaded. now, today, fresno famous! i plan to stop on my remaining trips in january. to explore the mystery that is fresno.
to see the old town, drive the tree-lined streets. i remember the 80s tv miniseries, the comedy takeoff on "dynasty" and "dallas" starring carol burnett. netflix?

editor, this case of fresno fixation (fresnitis?) has taken me unawares. will it pass, becoming just a fading fancy as i am swallowed up by los angeles? what is happening to me? are people SUPPOSED to feel drawn to fresno? should i seek treatment?

signed, EN ROUTE

Dear En Route, Fresnitis is a common condition, especially among those with a keen sense of irony. The only cure is in fact to pack up and move to Fresno, where you'll find your disposible income (as well as your asthma) greatly increased, your entertainment options reduced but enriched, and friendly folk who look you in the eye and want to be your friend.