Fresno Famous

I was recently reading a post on MindHub where a writer discussed FresFam getting sold to the Bee, and how the people in the strings were freaking and going all negative.
Jarah responded with a pretty even tempered and wise comment back, 'that the writers were basically concerned that something that they cared about would be changed.'
I'm not even sure if she went into any comments about people being worried about it being changed for the worse, --just changed. Classy response from a classy lady.

The post, identifying 'creative vultures,' sort of brings out a phenom. That has been seen elsewhere, in a way.
Recent comments, (that have graciously died down,) over KFSR going for a more identified Jazz ¾ / Eclectic ü (M-F) format, for example.
More worries about change.

I'll spare the cliché's about change being good, or inevitable.

But it's been ruminating, since before the writer made his comments on the 'artistic vultures.'
I immediately thought of a line from U2's 'The Fly,' (…every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief, all will kill their inspiration, and sing about their grief..)

And this concept, how we care for things, be they other people, ritual, tradition, structure, simply anything we understand as orthodoxy or tangible rite, even brand of breakfast cereal or sweater, will cause us unspeakable panic, -if lost, altered, or threatened.
I wonder of the relationship between Muse, Spectre, and why we mutter 'Rosebud,' in our own way, be it in our sleep, or waking.

I think of this while waiting in my truck, on the corner of Hearndon and First, next to a woman who is in a white T Bird, who is yelling profanities at the drivers who are stuck in the intersetion, at mercy of the traffic and the signals,
-all out on their own Shermans March on Riverpark. (in the name of a holiday.)

And what of this holiday?

I'm most familiar with two aspects.
The one where the lights in the temple were kept lit, (signifying the presence of God, the Spirit, and hope,) burning while the very belief and worship was under siege, --and how that miracle took place against all odds and logic,,, as miracles are apt to do.

The more recent, yet still ancient one, where God, (again,) against the backdrop of a very dreary and imperfect world, steps in, and quite literally decides to demonstrate by His presence, Hope, Love, Patience, Grace, Forgiveness, -and starts the whole program off by coming into the world by an innocent young girl who was from the wrong side of the tracks, who's own Fiancée thought of washing his hands of the whole affair, (until convinced that this was divine, not disaster.)

Creatives are funny beings.
We spin things out of thin air.
Even those of us who work with tangible subjects as steel, human life, wood, and neighborhoods, will be honest in standing, like a physicians desk reference, and tell you the percentage of things that go afoul, as well as if on rails,
-and will stand, as any honest surgeon, and say that there is no such thing as exact science, -only probability and established track records. 'If we do this, THAT should happen.'

How does hope come into all of this?
(And how in blue blazes am I going to bring together a radio station, a message board, a holiday, a world at war, a town bursting with population growth, (as well as concerns,) —and God Almighty becoming a vulnerable human infant, who, as all human infants do, start in struggle, cannot see, are trying to breathe, and are comforted only by warmth and ones own mother?
(…never doubt someone who has strong coffee, half a night's sleep, a keyboard, and too much to do…)

It's all about hope, kids.
We never loose this.
Granted, sometimes those hopes are dashed, but even with the worst of holiday celebrations, and miserable of parody, seen from the outside of traditions and the warm parlors of others, there is this hope.

Hope is a funny thing.
Much like, one rather impressive Komoto Dragon, (who not only has the desire to have kids, but can make them all by herself, (thankyouverymuch,sir,)
—Hope, is the rare thing that, once held, also self generates.)
(If anyone else has included a large lizard in their Christmas letter, I applaud them… I'll just chalk mine up to the fact that I'm really overtired, and really weird.)

Christmas was hope.
It showed up at the wrong time, came in the midst of adversity, and was not exactly delivered in a pretty package.
Don't get me wrong, Mary was spectacular.
Do a study some time. Read the Magnificat, understand that a 12 year old girl is freequoting at least 4 to 5 different passages of her holy books, completely within the context of fulfilling prophecy, and weaving them together in a passage that, (itself,) becomes a work of art,
---all from a little girl from a hopeless dusty little town, in a world where little girls were not taught to read, nor write, and usually had no other schooling than domestic chores… (This kid was good… very good.)

Those in the Temple, simply wanting to proceed with worship, going through the rites, sometimes which went unanswered for generations.
'We are keeping up our end of the bargain, we are in hope that God is keeping up His, -and so many times He has come across in ways we never could have dreamed,, Dyanu.'
-And the lamps burned.

Hope is not believing in something that is not there, it's knowing that something will come through, because it has already shown itself to you, just not in obvious ways.
It's also knowing that behind that 'thing,' so needed is a bigger thing, (I personally find a personality to be the bigger thing,) —and that said 'being,' seems to care a great deal for individuals, and wants to build and fulfill that hope.

But the radio station, the message board, the town, success and failure,
-how does that link up with a tradition of roaring around, trying to prepare for some holiday, and wondering if it's really going to take?

It's about change.
It's about letting go.

Watch this.

You see, for the miracle to take place, there was a trust, and willingness to simply receive what the hope was, AS it was presented.
The Jews hoped for oil for the lamps,
-but they really wanted just to know that God was with them.
What happened is called a miracle, -but what transpired was simply God saying, '…of course, look, see, don't doubt, I'll do this thing, you'll see it and know in your hearts,,, don't worry so much, it's not good for you, I'm here, see?'

Christmas?
Same thing.
People were running around calling their kids 'Joshua,' —in hopes that their son would be the deliverer and savior.
Everybody had this hope, and times were bad.
(Yes, Jesus had a common name, in fact, tradition tells us that he was not anything special that anybody would pick him out of a crowd, either… some interpretations actually say that he was a bit, um, plain, if not a touch homely in appearance… (which I find quite touching.)

-But those fulfillments of hope, meant having to accept something different.

Both of those traditions were expecting more conventional means, and for those tradition to remain the same. The traditions changed.

It's kind of funny, but when you look at things that people genuinely find hope in, the Very Old have a way of looking at it and just knowing that things will work out.
It's the wisdom of age, having seen a lot of peaks and troughs along the way. It's kind of like the suitable answer to what we start out with as kids. (That whole joy, optimism, and belief in things that kids have. We call it 'wonder,' —but really it's just a trust and belief and hope, not thinking that things will go afoul.)

A kid sees a present, and is stoked about the present, An old person sees a present, is stoked about the present, -but is more blessed by the thought.
What the present 'is,' really doesn't matter. It's that you care, it's your presence.
The kid just loves the whole deal, all of it.
Funny, Old people can sometimes see it the same way, too.

-What happens to us in the middle years?
I dunno.

We seek this presence from each other.
We look at holidays like this, and (some of us, quite brazenly,) go through the motions, sort of hoping that some miracle will happen, -that the hope will be fulfilled.

It always is.
I can't always explain it, and to be honest, it's quite personal, and is different for every body.
In the temple, they got lights for eight days. (Not everybody is going to get that, and not everybody is going to care… -no problem, it wasn't meant to impress everybody, it was meant to impress those who understood in that way, --and it was extremely cool.)

A young girl having a child out of wedlock in a barn in a rough town?
Sorry, but it's been done before.
Poor people have had kids, rich people, middle class, most (thankfully, for the privacy of it all,) in some semblance of dignity, (hopefully,) safe environs, -and the joy and exhilaration of a baby, (who turn lives upside down,) is known to the closest involved. It is quite regular, however.

Maybe the hope was best found in how regular and plain the situation was.

Maybe that was the 'open to change,' part.
There was no real need for fanfare.
(Though I find the tradition of angels declaring the birth to a bunch of sleepy shepherds late at night on the outskirts of town, (which probably caused said shepherds to pass out,) to be hysterical.)

I look at the phenom. Of the message board, of the Radio station, and I see people trying to create something, and then make it better.
There are no guarantees.
Nothing is forever, really.
And there are always naysayers.
-But what brought about both of those venues is someone having an idea, somebody else agreeing, and those ideas being born, and those hopes being met with things that broke tradition, became tradition, and then were burst like cocoons while the situation developed to another phase.
'Comfortable,' during birth and growth is not a commonly held feeling.
Usually, it's the opposite.

We can hope for something, -and if that thing changes, --and not in a way that we are willing to accept as an answer to that hope, we can turn from it and declare it 'run into the ground.'
-We can hope for that what we have, to become better,
-but (again,) unless we're willing to see what we may not understand, (or necessarily agree with,) as being a good answer, we could easily become sour, and stamp out hope, and declare that there is no hope.

We also need to see that the answer is not 'one size fits all, and will come about in different ways to different people.'

From all accounts, Fresno is going through enormous changes.

I look at entire neighborhoods, streets, sidewalks, and trees, ---and I'm told that less than five years ago, there was nothing but scrub-brush there.
Things change, they grow.
Somebody hoped for the town to grow up and grow better.
It is.
One persons' 'awkward phase,' is another's swan taking it's first few steps.

Vital paths of communication (such as FresFam,) become a major part of people's lives.
—Yet it was the idea of one person, and the collaborative effort of three, -and the contribution and reading by thousands.
-It didn't 'just happen,' It was hoped for, worked towards, and invariably took changes that people did not expect.

The radio Station?
Same.
Despite the conversations and questions of such (as FrankD,) who actually asked a tonload of people, '…so what do you think about if we do this????'
—There was a putting into play, a plan, hope that it would work, a belief that it would, and a deeper knowing that things would work out…

We go through this every year with our holidays.
We go through this every day.
We have a dream, a goal, a longing, a hope.
We have a need that we just hope somebody will understand, but even if it goes unanswered, it drives us.
We know that one day it will come true.

It's a strangely vulnerable thing, though.
And this would be my only caution, and I guess only real Christmas Wish.

This season, as we go through our rituals, (-or wish we had them,)
-as we prepare for our events, (-or feel lacking if there are none,)
As we are surrounded by others, (-or only memory,)
-We have a hope.
We are looking for something to fulfill what it's all supposed to mean.
We are painfully aware of the accumulated times where the expectations were not fulfilled.
But that doesn't change anything.

We need to be ready for the hope and the expectation of the season to be answered, -we just have to understand that we're not going to recognize it every time.
Another tradition?
The family sets out a glass of wine for the prophet to return and be with them, -and they place it at an empty place setting on the table, and open the door, and wait.
-And as the time goes by, they look at each other, and realize that he's not just awaited, but is already there.

We come to the holidays, sometimes holding on to things that simply have to change.
Sometimes those changes are devastating, (we loose people, thing happen in our lives that are not good.)
Sometimes those changes are wonderful, (we gain people, things happen in our lives that are great.)
We cannot let that fact of life,
-that things change, they grow, they transition, they leave sometimes, and sometimes come back in other ways,
----we cannot let that aspect dissuade us into believing that the hope is not there.

Though these days mean different things to each of us, they are also all intimately answered, and this hope, which does not die.
It will answer itself and grow, we sometimes just need to refocus and see it for what it is.

If we cling to the past, we ignore the present, we abandon reality, we become fearful, and hurl insults at those around, and what we need to face.
We no longer participate in growth and development.
We not only weld ourselves to something that is no longer living, -but we block life from filling us, as well.
(I suggest this is how we become 'creative vultures.')

Things Change.
Even a miracle, is change, and often not accepted, nor comprehended.
The danger is in damning something before it has a chance to break out, dry it's wings, and really fly.
(this is what was going on with the 'creative vulture,' syndrome.)
It's easy to loose sight of it amidst the madness of the not just the season, but everyday life.
It takes trust to see it, but trust is hard.

But, the miracles did happen, they always do, and the beauty was and is there all along, (we're just too close sometimes to comprehend it… maybe not unlike an infant savior, unable to see, nursing at the breast of a young woman, (who, along with her fiancée' had no idea what it all really meant, --they just know that something wonderful is taking place and that they were a part of it.)

I do hope you all have tables to sit around this weekend, and faces to look into and realize that you are all each others gifts, that you are all each others lights that are burning despite enormous odds, and that you are proof that miracles are not only still happening, -but more common that you realize.

-And for those of you who may not have this opportunity, you might even try something as simple as, if perhaps, encountering someone walking down your back alley on their way home from work, simply looking them in the eye, saying '..you have a good Christmas, okay?' —and lighting up with the response and smile that you'll get back.
(That, for me, was when I realized, that if I was not careful, I could go charging right through this holiday, and miss the hope and miracle completely… Don't make that same mistake.)

I wish you all blessed Holidays, however you find yourself amidst them.